Cohabitation
Brooke and I are settling into our new living space this week. This is the first time either of us have shared quarters with a significant other. We are currently taking tips on how to prolong our manners and our mutual respect for each other.
Feel free to leave you hard-earned lessons in a comment.
Feel free to leave you hard-earned lessons in a comment.
posted by Channing at 6:07 PM
26 Comments:
Never go to bed angry!!! It makes you wake up just as pissed with each other. Also picking up laundry and putting it in its respective spots helps out a lot. And lots and lots of kisses!! ;-) good like guys. And we are hoping to head out that way in March!!
Don't put things higher than she can reach in the cupboards. Unless it's cookies or a snack you want to hide for yourself.
Always do your dishes, help make the bed every morning, apologize if you're wrong, make dinner occasionally, pick up your socks, separate the mail when you get home first (putting the most exciting item on top), and bring home a nice bottle of wine now and then. And keep it fun. And by the way, it's the coolest thing in the world if you do it right.
That is all.
be flexible. pick your battles. take turns doing chores. and bring home flowers once in a while to put on the table. (especially after 3 years has passed)
1) make sure you still go out on dates.
2) allocate household responsibilities clearly and check in periodically to make sure the allocation feels fair.
3) remember there's more than one right way to do most things
4) don't go to the bathroom while your partner is in the shower. some of the mysteries of the body should be kept, well, mysterious.
Take off the ugly lamp cover. Is good for both.
Ditto on the plastic lamp cover. :)
I'm so glad I didn't have to mention the lamp shade issue.
I remember a terrible fight for something as stupit as not changing a roll of used WC paper.
Now with two kids we have real battles to fight. Everything is relative. Take it easy.
-th
By the way, I made a small omage of your blog in mine. I hope you don't mind.
undivided attention goes a long way.
And the plastic on the lamp.....is kinda funny.
We appreciate the advice, everybody. Very helpful.
The tips came in handy today. We're still a little traumatized by our first grocery trip. We neglected Jennifer's great advice to "remember there's more than one right way to do most things". We have a lot to learn.
And don't worry, the plastic has come off the lamp shade. Immediately, a dark aura was lifted from our home.
I'm a little late, but I thought I'd reiterate a comment Natalie's mother made once: fight naked, and you'll never fight for long.
Also, Jon and I made a pact last year to stop talking about work. This was one of the best things to ever happen to our relationship.
Oh! And we like to always remember what it was like to be apart. That way you don't take eachother for granted...
ala the u tube britney defender---
LEAVE THE LAMP SHADE ALONE...wail..but it is happy now so all is well.
1. Be patient.
2. Be flexible.
3. Pick up after yourself.
4. Be spontaneous.
5. Play Scrabble.
6. Drink while you cook.
7. Eat at the table without the television on.
8. Never forget to say goodnight.
9. Take short naps together on Sundays.
10. A long walk together at the end of a stressful day does wonders.
Congrats! Can't wait to see you both in April!
Don't underestimate the power of communication. I read somewhere that the #1 argument couples have is about money. I'm sure that's bound to come up now that you guys have to share responsibilities for bills, groceries, rent, etc. Just make sure to have those discussions upfront.
*Also, don't invite people over to the house without giving her a heads up.
*Let her know in advance if you MUST watch something on tv like a big game or something.
Suerte!!
Healthy relationship advice:
1. Actually listen to each other. Put down the mail/internet/tv, listen to what the person says and repeat it back to make sure you understand it.
2. Make her feel special. Make him feel appreciated.
3. When you're sick of each other, have a night away with friends. It's shocking how often a single night apart can make up for weeks of being sick of each other.
Unhealthy relationship advice that works for us neurotics when all else fails:
Imagine being alone again. Contrast that with having the person even with their numerous faults.
If you still find yourself thinking you would rather be alone, imagine your love loving someone else. I have yet to have this one fail me even through the worst of times. Perhaps it works for me because I am innately jealous, but it has made me realize that I was just angry, not at the point where I wanted to end things. Ain't nobody getting their hands on my man.
Now that you will be able to spend every waking minute together, it is easy to mistake time in the same space as time spent together. Make sure that you take care to actively be together as often as possible, remembering how you were when you lived apart and only had limited time together.
Don’t be concerned if you stop cuddling every night, jeez you need to get some sleep!
Say what is bothering you when you feel it.
Pick your battles.
Fold and put your laundry away immediately!
Never leave dirty dishes in the sink overnight, cook and clean together.
Know when to hold each other accountable and when to let things slide.
Remember that just because leaving your purse on the doorknob isn’t a big deal to you that it is ok if it is a big deal to him and try to put it someplace else. Just like he should remember that he doesn’t see any problem in leaving used paper towels all over the house to “use again later”, but it drives you crazy… maybe he could work on that? YOU GET MY POINT! We all have things that drive us crazy that other people don’t care about, that doesn’t make them less valid. Honor eachother as best you can in that respect.
You have been living as two self sustaining adults for a long time, now you have to come together to do the simplest things like grocery shopping and paying the bills. It is hard to let go of your own ways to create an “us” own way. It takes a little bit of time, but have faith!
all this advice is fine and dandy, but truth is you'll have to work a lot of it out on your own. that said my advice is simple. LOVE each other. you're both lucky to have the other. another idea. don't take life too seriously and remember, shit comes out in the wash.
-advice from the guy with no experience.
ps. can you guys leave the bedroom so channing can shoot some new blog material. please and thanks.
I figured Chan posted new pics to break the endless advice chain.
Yikes!
Communication is key!!!
If there is an issue, no matter the size, that bothers either of you, then talk about it ASAP!
This aids both of you in not exploding on each other in concerns of respect, etc.
Good Luck and Congrats!
"Immediately, a dark aura was lifted from our home".
Ha, ha!
Dear Channing, this a softly experience. Thje real challenge come with two childrens.
Enjoy, this is the easy part.
Saludos,
Roberto.
PS: People get very, very seriously with his comments. Too much.
Don't have a t.v. in your bedroom, replace it with a nice set of speakers and some decent music!
24 comments?! man on man - you're popular.
ok this basically sums it up:
you can't fart in bed anymore - take it outside.
Don't lose your sense of humor!!! If Joel and I didn't still have ours we would have murdered one another years ago...
we're four years living together and still looking for tips... my advice is to listen when she asks you to change some sort of untidy behavior-she probably wants it to officially change, not just that one time (i.e., taking off clothes and putting them on the floor next to the laundry basket as opposed to IN the laundry basket...what is the logic in this, I ask?) but be on the same page. Call when you'll be late. ooh, also-take some sort of lessons together-it keeps things fun and something to look forward to out of the house each week. right now we're salsa dancing. helps it's hot.
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